Jurassic World: A Review.

Film: Jurassic World.
Directed by: Colin Trevorrow.
Released: 2015.
Running Time: 124 min.

This quite simply is a generic, not even trying to be original, sci-fi film about Jurassic Park being actually finished and a part of the regular entertainments available in a world some 20 years after the events of the first movie and things expectedly go wrong when scientists, trying to create a better attraction, work shenanigans with dinosaur DNA to create a mcguffin that, also expectedly, gets loose.

There are a few snicker worthy scenes, and a few pokes at some cliches, but it feels more like they are trying to distract from the one-dimensional characters and eyeball rollingly bland story.

The Special effects were…meh, with a side of irksome. Nothing overly spectacular with the hybrid boss dino, the big visual catch to draw audiences in (both to the park in the movie and the movie’s seats) which considering what they say it is made from (t-rex, raptor, cuttlefish(!), and some sort of chameleon) could have at least been a bit more imaginative in looks then what they provided in this monstrosity lacking albino t-rex in need of a manicure with better reach and something that looks like tumors growing out of its back. You don’t really see much of the the other dinosaurs in this film (despite the fact the freakin’ movie is supposed to be about a park of dinosaurs) with the holograms more believable then the actual flesh and blood were supposed to be.

There were only two really noteworthy scenes in the entire movie: the flying dinosaurs terrorizing the park goers, carrying them off and dropping them, particularly the fish-eats-fish-gets-eaten-by-bigger-fish moment with the British assistant (yes that is primarily how the film defines this unvested red shirt in heels), and the boss battle between four of the deadliest dinosaurs was admittedly awesome to see, and a good climax for the action. It’s also good that they kept some of the original score from the first film, and didn’t fall into the popular song trap that seems to be a recurring trope with films nowadays, so it has that going for it, but it’s not enough to save it from the bargain bin at Walmart in the next few years.

What really slaps my melon is that they could have used the two hours that this film was running to flesh out the plot, which meanders like a bored child waiting for the show to start at the circus, which doesn’t really happen until roughly the (late) latter half of the film. They also used that forced romance element that Hollywood seems to think is mandatory in many films recently (Ant-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy being a few of those prime examples from this year) between two characters that don’t have any believable chemistry and a story that didn’t even need it, with said pairing only sniping at each other occasionally, an awkward bit of flirting, and a kiss scene that was uncomfortable to watch (and be a part of, judging by the expression on the red head).

If you watch this, you will either be mildly amused at best or (most likely) bored and disappointed at worst.

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